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Praying Together 


Finding a Prayer Partner


 Lesson 7


Finding a prayer partner


Recommended Reading:  “Power of Praying Together”  Chapter 3 


There is good reason to have a prayer partner.  Having a pray partner has two purposes.  One is for Accountability and the other is agreeing together.  This lesson is focused on agreeing together and building relationships that will help you to be able to agree together.


A primary scripture we can consider is Matt 18:19 which speaks of agreeing together as we pray.


 Agreeing together is really team work.  When a team pulls together, then everyone performs more effectively and often, there are good results.  The same thing happens with prayer.   When we pray together and pull together in our prayers, we see more answered prayer.  It takes discipline to pull together, but as we do, we it will encourage spiritual growth, and as we grow into spiritual maturity, we may discover a change of focus in our prayers.   This new focus allows God’s Holy Spirit to minister through us, showing His love and compassion to others.  


As we partner together in prayer with others, we will discover another change—a  spiritual bonding takes place.  It is important as we pray together to allow that bonding, because it enables us to become better acquainted with whom we are praying.  Many people will not open up and share their deeper needs, until a relational bond has developed with their prayer partners.  This spiritual bond can result in a friendship that is Christ centered and becomes a blessing to both prayer partners.   


How do I start praying together with a prayer partner?  First, let’s start by just seeking the guidance of the Lord in prayer for the right person to pray with.  It should be someone who believes in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.  The next step clearly defines what you desire in a prayer partner relationship.  Are you looking for someone with a similar prayer focus—i.e. praying about Vacation Bible School or other church function?  Are there community issues that you work on and need prayer?  Are there family or work issues that you want to pray with someone about?  What about someone whom you do things with periodically?  Perhaps this may be an opportunity to consider periodic prayer together, especially—where you have common interests. 


As you move forward, please remember that in any relationship, there is a risk (i.e. manipulation, things going awry, etc).  One of the best ways to reduce risks is to allow humility to be a part of your life and action.  Risks are a part of a growing experience, and praying together can help work through some of the risks. 

As you seek a prayer partner, be careful in praying alone with someone of the opposite sex, unless you are married and then your spouse should be that prayer partner.  If prayer with those of the opposite sex is needed, consider praying in a group.    


At this point I would like to go back to building relationships.  I know that sometimes you have to build a friendship or a relationship with a person before a person will be ready to pray with you as a prayer partner.  Where are good places to build relationships in searching for a prayer partner?  Consider a starting with good Christian Friend – in most friendship relationships, there is an element of encouragement and support already established.  You may want to take time to study God’s word together first, then consider praying together.  Bible study and prayer groups may also be another place to find a prayer partner.  It is possible that someone in the group would be willing in time to be your prayer partner.  Take your time and get to know those in the group.


When we find someone who may be a prayer partner to us, we should be aware there are some approaches that can scare them away and hinder our coming together.  Let’s consider for instance:  If we just “jump in” and start praying with others, it can be frightening to some.  To others it can be very unnerving.  Most of us do not want that.  To help a person overcome his/her fears and issues concerning having a prayer partner, let’s look at some suggestions: 


1.  Take time to be a friend. 

2.  Often you may find that you just need to be with others who are praying together for a while, before you feel comfortable in joining them.  Do not rush things.

3.  If you are still afraid to pray with others, even after being with people, don’t be afraid to just say ‘Amen’ at end of a prayer.  This denotes agreement, and is actually a prayer It is good when people understand this is a prayer.   Remember, God looks on the heart—and an ‘Amen’ from the heart is a prayer. 

One more item to consider in relationships:

4.  In time, as you get to know them and have a relationship with some of them, you will probably find yourself joining in prayer with a group.

When you are praying with others, here are a few suggestions:

  • Be specific in prayer requests: Many of us have needs we may want someone to pray for. When possible, it is helpful to be specific about a need.  You can be brief, and not go into much detail. 
  • A word about courtesy:  When praying with others. People, who pray long prayers, and monopolize the time are not giving opportunity to listen to God, nor opportunity for others to join in prayer.  We must all remember to keep our prayers to the “basic specifics” when praying with others, giving others a chance to pray.
  • Listening:  When praying with another, listen to them as they pray.  You will hear what is on their heart.  In your prayers with them, come along side and joining with their prayer.  It will bring encouragement that will show them that God is interested in them.  That action (Joining with their prayer) is God’s love at work.  Conversely, when we do not join with another in prayer, that action can be interpreted as being insensitive which can block the work God wants to do.  Learning to listen to others and to God, takes time, but it will bring fruit for eternity – and may help remove the fears of praying with and for others.


When we pray with others, take time to listen to others, and obey what God’s word says, we have the opportunity to let the Holy Spirit guide us as we pray, it is good to ask the Lord to help you encourage your prayer partner. Heb 3:13.


There are many benefits of having a prayer partner.  Our first step is to ask the Lord and to lead us to one.  Remember you may find it takes time to become better acquainted with a person to build a trusting relationship with him or her, who might be your prayer partner.  In time, you will find the person whom God wants you to pray with regularly.


There is a lot to consider in building a relationship that can lead to finding a prayer partner.  Take time to consider what has been taught in this lesson and work some of the reflection questions with this lesson.


Reflection Questions: 


We know we should pray, but when it comes to praying with others, why is building a relationship with them important? 


In any relationship there are risks.  If you have had experience with prayer partners, would you be willing to share some of the risks you experienced first hand? (Be general here, we don’t need deep details).


If your prayer partner is not into much actual praying, but is often silent and says just 'Amen'-- can that be enough to encourage you as you pray with them? 


Have past issues of confidentiality discouraged you from praying with a prayer partner?  

















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Replies to This Discussion

Great to hear this report.  Yes - we must allow God's Holy Spirit to bring us into unity. 

I wonder if you have identified what has helped establish friendship and relationships with the 14 remaining over the last 4 years?  You have identified the Lord's involvement--has the Lord shown the group the importance of humility?  or just being together? or learning how to care for each other? or build each other? 

I know each group is different, but hearing about something the group has noticed together that has kept it together might be an encouragement to others. 

Would like to hear from you or--others too on this matter.

Lewis, I appreciate the sensitive and thoughtful manner in which the content of lesson 7 was presented. I intend to use some of this material with one of my prayer groups.

Thank you Edward-May the Lord use you in your responding to Him, to encourage others to join together and pray together.


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